Collide
by Obsessed Dreamer
Summary: He's a hard-working young talented, albeit cold captain. Although reliable in the battlefield, she's a lazy, irresponsible fukutaicho. Will their differences keep them apart or will it lead them to a head-on collision? HitsugayaxMatsumoto
1. Hot Soup

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach. If it'd been, then Byakuya and Rukia would be married at the ending and would be prolific as rabbits!

**Warning:** Unlikely pairing. If it's not to your liking, you'd do both of us great good by clicking the back button.

**A/N: **I was in the middle watching the arrancar arc (again) on DVD when I was struck with the chemistry between Matsumoto and Hitsugaya. Thus **Collide** was born. This is my first HxM fic and I haven't written any fics for a long LONG time, so please be kind with me. ^^

_Ice boy_ – sound

"_Ice-boy" – _thoughts

"Ice-boy" – spoken conversation

* * *

**Chapter 1: Hot Soup**

It was a beautiful sunny morning. The birds were chirping and there was not a cloud in the deep blue sky. Matsumoto Rangiku hummed happily to herself as she walked through the corridors of Gotei 13 while her bountiful breasts bounced in tandem with her lively step. Some of the men she passed sneaked drooling glances but none dared to say or do anything remotely close to anything perverted.

No matter how flirty she sometimes seemed to be and how scandalous she looked, the pretty fukutaichou has a reputation for breaking the noses of men whom displeased her for being too, err, um, eager. None of them wanted to risk for a trip to the Fourth Division so they just contented themselves with their fantasies.

Oblivious, the redhead continued staring blankly into space, a happy grin dancing across her lips.

"_Hmm, I think I already got all that we'll need for later_," she thought, referring to the SWA meeting they'll be conducting after office hours. She looked inside the bag again to check the items one by one. Her forehead creased a bit, "_they're all here, but why is it I can't shake off this feeling that I forgot something. Hmmm…_"

"MAATSUMOOOTOOOOOUUU!"

From a distance, the familiar angry roar was heard. The ground shook and all the birds around the immediate surrounding area flew away in panic.

Rangiku cringed. Now she remembered. "_Ooh boy!_"

-oOo-

**Tenth Squad Headquarters**

Rangiku tiptoed across the corridor, her reiatsu greatly suppressed. _"Al-most there."_ She was about to reach the door to her office when it slammed open revealing a furious set of ice blue eyes. As if on cue, the staff of the tenth squad pushed ear plugs into their auditory canals at the same time. A sweat drop appeared on Rangiku's temple.

"MATSUMOTO!"

"_Is it just me or did he just pronounce that as Mhatsumhoutoou?"_

"How many times do I have to tell you not to use the office hours for unofficial activities!" the silver-haired captain growled.

"Um, seventy-thousand, three hundred and twenty-two," the redhead muttered to herself in a very small voice.

Hitsugaya's glare intensified at the quip. If looks could kill, Rangiku would already be on the floor, all mangled and bloody. "If you can remember those figures, then pray tell why can't you remember to pass your reports on time? They are due THIS DAY!" he said through gritted teeth.

"But Taicho…" she pouted.

"I don't want to hear it. Get to work!" Hitsugaya had cut-off her explanation. He stalked to his own office and closed the door with another bang, which caused the other shinigamis in the building to jump in their seats.

In the silence that followed, they removed their earplugs at the same time, again as if on cue. Hitsugaya and Matsumoto have been like this since forever and knowing this fact, the older members of the tenth squad easily fell back to their work routine but the younger recruits weren't so lucky. Most of them were still crumpled on the floor after feeling the captain's angry reiatsu.

Finally alone at her office, Matsumoto breathed a sigh of relief. Had another shinigami been in her place, he'd still be trembling after the scolding, but Matsumoto, being who she was, she was completely unfazed. And after seventy-thousand, three hundred and twenty-two scoldings, this being the seventy-thousand, three hundred and twenty-third, she's already used to his moods.

Matsumoto clasped her hands together thoughtfully. "Ah, taicho seems to be really agitated today. Hmm, I know!" her face bright and cheerful at her own genius.

-oOo-

_Knock! Knock!_

Hitsugaya grunted in reply.

Matsumoto opened the door a little and took a peek. The captain's nose was buried in the documents; his forehead was creased with concentration while his writing brush danced across the parchment furiously. Matsumoto bit back a smile.

Holding the tray in her hand, she pushed the door further with her body. The wonderful smell of something heavenly wafted to Hitsugaya's nose.

"Hitsugaya-Taicho," Rangiku said in her singsong voice. That's the only time the captain stopped his work to look up. His eyes swept back and forth between the food and the beaming girl in askance.

"It's already lunch-time taicho. You seemed too busy to get out of your office so I thought of sharing my lunch in here with you today," she said cheerfully. "You work too hard taicho; take a break for a bit."

"Well if you weren't so lazy then I won't have to work _thrice_ as hard," he retorted.

The redhead faked a look of hurt and pouted playfully, "That hurt, Taicho. To think I cooked this especially with you in mind."

"Hn," the expression his face did not change a bit. He hesitated for a moment but Matsumoto was beaming up to him enthusiastically that he couldn't bring himself to say no. She did put an effort into bringing him lunch and his stomach was starting to growl. He cleared a part of his desk to make room for the tray. Their impromptu banquet consisted of a weird combination of food: miso soup, a huge pizza, and cheesecake. He had them before in the real world. And strangely enough, the combination of tastes works. "_Much like the one who made them,"_ he reflected.

""Don't think I'm letting you off the hook just because you served me lunch," he said. His knife was already cutting through the pizza.

Matsumoto winced at his statement but seeing her usually uptight captain relax a little in the presence of food was enough to make her happy. "Hai, taicho!"

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**A/N:** I hoped you enjoyed reading this chapter and please do tell me what you think. Constructive criticisms are welcome and flames will be laughed at.

See 'ya next chapter!


	2. Perfect Day

**A/N: **Thanks to all that reviewed and placed this story in their alert list. I had fun writing this chapter. Enjoy reading and do tell me what you think afterwards, okay? ^^

**Disclaimer:** I want to own Bleach but I don't have enough moolah to buy the copyrights from Kubo Tite so please don't sue me.

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**Chapter 2: Perfect Day**

One popping vein.

Two popping veins.

Three Popping Veins!

SNAP!

"Where is she?" Nanao complained through gritted teeth. She's familiar with Matsumoto's habitual tardiness but she also knows that her lateness manifests only when it comes to office duties and anything remotely close to paperwork or actual work for that matter. But not when it comes to outings, drinking sessions, parties, and SWA meetings.

And for the first time, she's late and they can't start this _particular_ meeting without her. Thank heavens Soi Fon-Taicho has been summoned by Yamamoto Soutaicho or else…Nanao shuddered. She doesn't want to think about it.

"Ta-daa! And the goddess arrives." the shoji opened and in walked the exuberant redhead.

"You finally showed up!"

"Hey, where are the rest?" Apparently the fuming Ise Nanao and the silent Kuchiki Rukia were the only ones in the room.

"Oh, they went home. They were just waiting for you for **two** hours!"

Rangiku grinned sheepishly and stuck out her tongue in apology. "Sorry. I had to work overtime. Taicho was practically breathing down my neck and he watched over me until I finished all of the paperwork."

Nanao's jaw fell open and Rukia's eyes widened. That was _news_; headline-worthy. Matsumoto always _always_ finds a way to escape Toushiro-taicho's slave-driving tendencies. Talk about surprised. "Y-you mean you actually…HUH?" came Nanao, confused.

Matsumoto's grin became wicked. "Didn't I say that I'd give you a gold mine for our SWA funds?"

Neither Rukia nor Nanao spoke. They still can't connect how Matsumoto's _overtime_ correlates to the increase of their funds. Unless she's willing to donate her pay for the extra two hours she worked, which they doubt she would, (for it would most probably be donated to the local bar instead) and if she did, it wouldn't make much of a difference.

Matsumoto took out some gadgets from the bag she was carrying and removed something very tiny from her uniform. It was so tiny and inconspicuous that they didn't even notice it was there. When everything was ready, Matsumoto stepped back and proudly showed her _work_ to the other two shinigamis.

"Ooh!" They exclaimed with understanding…but for different reasons. Nanao had the Yen sign dancing in front of her eyes while Rukia on the other hand smelled trouble.

-HxM-

**Next Day…**

Toushiro looked out of his office window to relax his neck muscles from all that writing.

It was a beautiful morning. The sun was shining brightly. The birds were chirping and there was not a cloud in the deep blue sky. It was perfect. The kind of perfect day that seems nothing would go wrong.

Even Matsumoto came to work on time. And she was neither drunk nor hung-over. _And_ she went straight to her desk. AND was actually doing the paperwork!

Yes it was indeed perfect. Too perfect.

A frown that was forever etched on his smooth forehead deepened. Something was nagging at his gut but he couldn't determine what. Toushiro shook his head to clear his thoughts. "_Naa...,"_ Maybe his lieutenant finally learned to follow what he had been drilling into her thick skull for the past decades.

It _will_ be a perfect day.

And there was the nagging feeling again.

-oOo-

**A few hours later…**

Hitsugaya was on his way to the captain's meeting. The distance from the Tenth Division Headquarters to the First Division Headquarters was a long one but he chose to walk instead of using shunpo. As expected from a silent person like him, Toushiro enjoys solitude. But between babysitting a loud and irresponsible fukutaicho and the stresses of being a Taicho, it is difficult to come by.

Walking affords him his much needed peace and quiet.

"_There seems to be a lot of people on the streets today. Didn't they know it's still office hours?"_ he thought. Ever since he stepped out of his office, he noticed that people seemed to be popping out of nowhere.

Everywhere he passed he could feel eyes boring into him, following him, raking over his form. If he had not been too pre-occupied with being annoyed, he would have noted that most of them were women and some men who weren't very manly, and some even blushed as he walked by.

"Oh there he is!" someone giggled from the crowd.

"He's so dreamy…" another sighed lovingly.

Hitsugaya started to feel uneasy. He usually doesn't care about being ogled but do they have to follow him as well? They carefully kept their distance but not enough for him not to notice that they were indeed following him.

"Oh, I'd give anything to have a piece of that work!" an effeminate male voice exclaimed not too quietly from the background.

"Alright, that's it!" Hitsugaya muttered angrily, and shunpo-ed to the First Division in the blink of an eye.

The flustered white-haired captain slammed the doors of the meeting hall shut and pressed his back against the opening and stayed there as if to make sure that no one would pass through. He would have continued staying there if Yamamoto-soutaicho did not clear his throat indicating that he should take his place for the meeting.

All of the captain's eyes were on him as he walked. Kuchiki-taicho was stoic as usual but there was a mark of displeasure on his grim mouth. Unohana-taicho was smiling her trademark creepy smile which was creepier than customary. Ukitake-taicho was clearly amused; Zaraki-taicho and Kyoraku-taicho miserably failed to hide their wolfish grins. The rest of them _tried_ to look bored.

Kyoraku inserted a pinkie into his ear, "Ne, old man," he said, referring to the captain-commander. His teasing eyes never left Hitsugaya, "are you sure we can hold the meeting with this noise?" The buzzing of the Hitsugaya Fan Club, err, crowd outside the first division buildings reached into the meeting hall, to think that its immediate surrounding area was restricted to during captain's meetings. It was _that_ loud.

"I can clear out the crowd for ya if ya want," Zaraki answered, his maniacal grin growing by the second. "But…" from his robe, he fished out a red autograph pen and a big poster. Hitsugaya felt all of his blood rush to his head. In Zaraki's hand was a blow up photo of Hitsugaya, who was _very cutely _biting on a pizza.

Zaraki continued, "…but ya have to sign this for me first!"

Kyoraku burst out laughing.

"Mine too if you please," Unohana chuckled and held out another. On it, Hitsugaya was leaning back on his couch, his arms spread on the back rest and his head thrown back to reveal creamy skin over toned muscles of his exposed neck.

The temperature in the entire meeting room dropped instantly and then a deafening roar resounded throughout Seiretei. "**MAAATSUUMOOOTTOOOOO**!"

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**A/N: **I might not be updating for a while. One word: Exams, eeeep!Review people! It will inspire me to make the next chapter faster XD. What do you think Matsumoto's punishment should be? XD


	3. You Give Love a Bad Name

Thank you to everyone who left a review. I'm sorry I can't give individual replies right now because I'm in a hurry. I just dropped by to leave this update. And oh, HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO EVERYONE!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Bleach. How many times do I have to say that? XD

"_Thoughts"_

_

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_

**Chapter 3: You give love a bad name**

Slow and heavy deliberate footsteps echoed from the path leading to the entrance of the Tenth Division Headquarters. The ground shook with each advancing step. The areas nearest to the fuming Hitsugaya were slowly covered with thin layer of frost. Freezing reiatsu poured out of his every pore; even the irises of his eyes disappeared beneath the energy that leaked out unchecked because of his anger. Every shinigami with an ounce of sanity fled within sight of the approaching captain who seemed more than livid.

And he was indeed more than livid. Hitsugaya was furious. He had never felt more humiliated and _taken advantaged_ of in his life. He gritted his teeth upon remembering the events of the previous day.

_First Flashback: During lunch_

"Try this cheesecake taicho, it's very tasty but it's not very sweet." Matsumoto leaned towards Hitsugaya, as he was biting into a slice of pizza. Her exposed cleavage fell just below his line of sight in a very suggestive manner. He turned his head away a little to avoid his gaze but Matsumoto leaned in further. "Because I know that you don't like sweet stuff that much. Didn't I tell you that I made this with you in mind?"Her shoulder and the side of her breast rubbed against his upper arm making his brows furrow deeper with annoyance. He was the famed iceman and after decades of putting up with his touchy-feely fukutaicho, he'd already been used to her less than, err, restrained, ways but her actions as of the moment were making truly him uncomfortable.

_Second Flashback: After work hours_

"Matsumoto! The reports are unfinished yet. You would need to stay behind to work through them _all._"

The redhead pouted and was about to retort when he glared at her with his trademark shut-it-or-you'll-have-it-worse look. He was surprised when the usually glib lieutenant heeded his silent order. He was even more surprised when she actually sat down in front of her desk without any argument and started going through the papers.

Hitsugaya hardly believed his eyes and thought that Matsumoto was just going with him until she can find a chance for escape. Afterall, she did it many times before so he pulled his couch from his office into hers and sat on it so he could watch over her and make sure that she doesn't play hooky.

And so he sat there, and stayed there, and stared at her in amazement, and sat there, and stayed there, and stared at her in increasing amazement until he fell asleep on his own couch.

He woke up with a start when something warm fanned across his face. When he snapped his eyes open, his view was greeted with Matsumoto's large rack, again. She was leaning suggestively over him. Caught off guard, Hitsugaya tried to get out of the couch and he stumbled to the floor with a thud.

"Taicho, it's already dark. I'm all done, can I go now?" she said coyly but her eyes were dancing with mischief.

"A-ah," was all that he managed to say. When Matsumoto left, he leafed through the papers and true enough they were indeed all finished. They were done very well too. Which left him all the more puzzled.

_End Flashback_

Now he understood _why_. He knew that something was off when her walking-dead of a lieutenant came in early this morning, he did not entertain his suspicion because he thought, no, he stupidly _hoped _that it was just in consonance with her actions the previous day. He hoped that he would _finally _be able to have more than half of his burden lifted but no, no sir-ee! That wreck of an officer just had to pull this stunt off!

Hitsugaya valued his privacy thank you very much but the source of his fury wasn't so much because of the pictures as much as Matsumoto had one up on him.

"Ooh! There'll be _hell _topay!"

.

-oOo-

.

"Nine hundred and ninety-seven…Nine hundred and ninety-eight…Nine hundred and ninety-nine…One Thousand! Wow! Two million and three hundred thousand yen in just one day!" Matsumoto exclaimed happily. She placed the wads in a nondescript bag. "Taicho IS famous! Nanao will be happy. Hahumm!"

Matsumoto knew that her racket would be a hit but she didn't expect it to be that big of a hit. But then again, Hitsugaya's fame was only a close second to Byakuya's in all of Seiretei. Especially now that the prodigy had grown from his pre-teenaged body into a budding hunk of a young man, women everywhere were dying to have piece of him.

"I knew I should have placed bugs in his house too! Hey, why not?" Matsumoto was too happy with her success and her next plans that she didn't notice the whole building was starting to resemble an igloo.

Eventually the cold crept into her office, the door of which for the nth time opened with a bang.

Matsumoto Rangiku, queen-of-composure-in-the-presence-of-iceman-Hitsugaya, jumped in surprise; her crown was threatened to be removed by the look on her captain's face.

"T-taicho!" Matsumoto flustered. She moved in front of her desk to hide the remaining stack of Hitsugaya pictures from his view. "_Dang! Taicho is soo gonna kill me…It was a good thing I left the soft copy at the SWA Headquarters."_

Nevertheless, she knew she was already found out.

"T-taicho," she repeated. Hitsugaya continued to advance menacingly towards her and she took a defensive step back in response, "it's not what you think Taicho!"

But she had to try right?

Hitsugaya was undeterred. "I was here the whole day! YOU saw me, so I couldn't have had….!"

Matsumoto let out a small shriek when Hitsugaya lunged at her with the astonishing speed of his shunpo and slammed her to the wall.

Matsumoto could only gawk up at the white-haired shinigami in surprise. She never realized how much he had grown until now that he was looming over her, his merciless turquoise eyes boring down into her blue ones. Ordinarily, Matsumoto would be able to think of a way to get out of trouble but Hitsugaya's closeness and his immense reiatsu were pressing heavily on her. And he did manage to back to her up in a corner. Both of his hands were on her either side imprisoning her and Haineko was out of her reach. There was no way for her to escape without first being frozen solid by Hyorinmaru

"You…" he seethed between his teeth. Matsumoto gulped.

"…_sneaky_…" he continued between gritted teeth. Hitsugaya grabbed the front of her shinigami uniform earning a gasp from the stunned Matsumoto.

Then the door opened to accept Kyoraku and Ukitake and this was the scene that met their eyes. For a brief moment, everybody seemed too stunned to move. Ukitake's jaw hung towards the floor and then Shunsui exclaimed excitedly, "Our little prodigy is really now a man!"

It was Hitsugaya's turn to blanch this time. Matsumoto didn't take too long to recover and her instincts kicked in. Her hand rose on its own and connected with Hitsugaya's nose.

Shunsui whistled admiringly.

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**A/N:** So who else loves cheesecake? I do! XD Read and Review people.


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